Ask Kim: April 16

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Dear Kim,

My daughter will graduate from high school next month.  I’m about to have an “empty-nest”.  She is 18 and plans on moving in with her boyfriend immediately after graduation.  They already have their apartment rented.  I am a single mother and she’s my only child.  I’m talking about a really empty nest.  I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself.  I won’t even have a reason to go home.  I am beyond sad.  What should I do?



Dear Marty,

I’ll bet you can remember the excitement of moving out of your parent’s home.  We all want to be grown up.  Get out on our own.  Make our own rules.  Sing at the top of our lungs in our own place.  But, this rite of passage can certainly make us mothers (and fathers) feel blue.  Don’t forget, our parents went through this too!

What a roller coaster of emotion during our kid’s final year of high school.  There are so many things to celebrate; senior pictures, proms, colleges, boyfriends and girlfriends.  Then it happens – the kid we’ve devoted our life to, throws a monkey in the wrench and moves away from home.  Some are off to college; others move out to try their hand at adulting.  Makes me want to cry thinking about it.

Seriously though, it is a sad time when our babies leave home.  It is completely normal to feel this loss as your daughter moves into adulthood.  You need time to make the adjustment of living alone.  You didn’t mention it, but will she still be living in the area or is she moving far away?  Knowing that she’s close can offer you some comfort.  If she’s moving away from town, you’ll have to do a lot of face-timing.  Either way, it’s going to be a big change for the both of you.  As with any loss, the feeling will eventually subside.  You will beam with pride as you discover that you raised a daughter who’s able to stand on her own two feet.  You might secretly hope she has to come running back home to you.  That’s okay too.  Everything happens in its own time.

The important thing to remember is even though your daughter may leave your home, you remain a very important part of her life.  She may not need you to do laundry or cook for her but trust me – she still needs you!  Don’t forget, you still have to be a great momma!  You will learn to appreciate your freedom again.  When it’s time, you’ll go out and find something you enjoy.  How wonderful, you both get to grow and evolve.  You have my sympathy and congratulations on this next chapter.

Have a question?  Ask Kim!

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