Ask Kim – April 9

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Dear Kim,

I need some advice.  My husband and I are newly retired.  My problem is this – my husband thinks he’s on vacation, while I continue with all the daily chores around the house.  He’s relaxed long enough.  How do I get him to pitch in?

Adilyn

Manhattan

Dear Adilyn,

Oh boy, do I feel your pain!  I’m not trying to be sexist, but I would say a large percentage of women, working or not, feel your pain too.  I know in my household, 99.9% of the time the cleaning activities only involved me.  Fair? Absolutely not.  Status quo, yes ma’am.

Seriously though, once in a while a reality check is in order.  I once had a co-worker who actually shared the household cleaning duties with his wife.  They put each room on a piece of paper. Then every week they would draw to see who had to clean what room.  They were very specific about what needed to be done, from dusting, vacuuming, mopping, etc.  That seemed to work for them.  You might give that a try.

Another option if you can’t get the hubby to pitch in – if it’s in your budget – hire some help!  When I work full-time, it’s hard to get the house cleaned properly.  I always told the hubby, “I work too!”  I shouldn’t be expected to come home from work and clean the house.  He got to come home and do as he pleased.  That’s when I enlisted the help of a professional.  It doesn’t really cost that much to have someone come in once a week. 

The way I see it, your situation is exactly the same.  Hubby gets to play.  You do all the work.  I think you’ve got to put your foot down.  Let him know he can help, or you’ll find a service who will.  Then get out there and enjoy your retirement too.  Life is short!

Have a question?  Ask Kim!   https://www.ksnt.com/advice-question-form

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