Ask Kim – February 28

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Dear Kim,

My husband thinks we have to be together 24/7. I would like to have a little space and don’t know how to tell him without hurting his feelings. I’ve encouraged him to golf, play softball, etc. He’s not happy unless we’re together. All I want is a little space. What can I say without hurting his feelings?

Anonymous

Emporia

Dear Anonymous,

Most of us need a little breathing room.  Even newlyweds can start to feel smothered when their spouse won’t give them a minute alone.  It could be worse, they may not want to be around you at all.

Seriously though, have a heart to heart talk with your spouse.  Explain what kind of “space” you need.  Are you talking about a couple of hours a day or is once a week enough?  Outline your expectations.  Does he need to leave the house or just leave you alone in another room?  Can he call or text you?  Probably not unless there’s an emergency.  Are you going somewhere?  Tell him what you’re doing so he doesn’t worry.  Couples can become very dependent on each other.  Let him know you love him, be honest, explain your plans (or lack thereof) and make it happen. 

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