Ask Kim – June 24

Page 2 Advice
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Dear Kim,

I have recently started dating a soldier stationed at Fort Riley.  I have never been in a relationship with a military man and have some concerns.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy.  What happens if we officially fall in love and he’s moved to another base?  What if he gets deployed somewhere else in the world?  I’ve never had a long-distance relationship and am not sure they work.  How do I know if this relationship is doomed from the start?

Emily

Manhattan

Dear Emily,

Congratulations on meeting someone you want to spend time with.  Sometimes that’s the biggest challenge.  To top it off, he’s a SOLDIER!!!  This is an individual, who willingly decided that defending our nation was his career choice.  I don’t know him, but he’s my hero.  As a military mom, I can tell you about the sacrifices these individuals make for all of us, each and every day.  Is it easy, heck no.

Seriously though, you may be putting the cart before the horse.  Since the word “love” isn’t being used yet, why are you so worried?  Are you against dating someone because the relationship may not last?  I think that’s a risk in every dating relationship.  I don’t know numbers, but I would venture there are many, many happily married people in the military.

The question you’re asking really seems to be whether you are cut out for military life should the relationship progress.  I wish I had the answer.  I mentioned sacrifice earlier.  Military personnel and their loved ones do sacrifice a great deal.  For some, that sacrifice comes as an occasional weekend away.  Others are on active duty in hostile parts of the world.  Their families are thousands of miles away.  I won’t even talk about the ultimate sacrifice too many members have made on our behalf. 

The struggle is real.  Here’s my advice to you if you enjoy going out with this person, do it!  If you fall in love, commit to it!  If it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be and hopefully you both had a good time while it lasted.  There are so many ifs.  If you do find yourself connected to this military man, you’ll make this work if you want it to.

Regardless, I encourage you to hold him close in your heart knowing the pride of a grateful nation. 

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