Dear Kim,

My neighbor down the block is having an affair.  I see her spouse leave for work in the morning and by mid-day, she has other male company.  Sometimes they stay in, and sometimes they go out.  I feel terribly sorry for the husband.  He doesn’t seem to have a clue what goes on when he leaves for the day.  I don’t know them very well, but I’m compelled to let him know what’s happening.  How do I tell him?



Dear Melissa,

Whooooaaaaa nelly!  You’re making a huge leap assuming you know what’s going on behind closed doors.  Her “visitor” could be anyone.  Even if your neighbor is being less-than discreet, it’s not up to you to share that gossip with anyone, let alone her spouse. 

Seriously though, I know you want to be helpful, but this is one of those times where you really should MYOB (mind-your-own-business).  This is a boundary that shouldn’t be crossed by casual acquaintances or relative strangers.  You have no idea about their relationship arrangement and they certainly don’t need your interference. 

It does seem you’re very interested in the happenings of your neighborhood.  My advice is to put your alertness to good use.  Start by working to build a true community in your neighborhood.  Take some time to get to know your neighbors.  Stop and introduce yourself.  Is there someone in the neighborhood that could use a hand?  Are there people who could benefit by a friendly visit or phone call?  Look around – I’m sure there are many opportunities to make a difference in people’s lives all while exercising those good boundaries.

Stay well.

Have a question?  Ask Kim!