Ask Kim says it’s too late to save this marriage

Page 2 Advice
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Dear Kim,

My wife states that she is not in love with me and wants a divorce. We have disconnected and she wants out and does not want to try any more. I don’t want this, and divorce is just going from one set of problems to another. Can you recommend anything that can help?

Anonymous
Tecumseh

Dear Anonymous,

The end of a marriage is an extremely difficult time. Even when both people choose a “conscience uncoupling”, because they both feel the relationship is over – it is an extremely tough thing to go through. Very few people walk away unscathed.

You say your wife isn’t in love with you and you’re disconnected. This feels like a firm decision on her part. Marriage counseling might help before you get to this point in a relationship. Usually not after.

My challenge to you would be, why would YOU want to stay in such a situation? I know. You still love her. It creates a new set of problems. Change is hard, yada, yada, yada. You can’t be happy either. Most people aren’t completely blindsided by their partner wanting out. There are always signs that things aren’t rosy in the marriage. If you’re just now tuning in to that fact, it may be too little, too late.

Seriously though, there are things you can do to help yourself. An excerpt from husbandhelphaven.com says right now, your wife doesn’t have the highest opinion of you. Don’t let that spoil your confidence. Instead, let it be a sign that you need more. You’re a man. You define what you think of yourself. While the site offers other strategies, I agree with this one completely!

It’s time to focus on you my friend. You do need more from your relationship. Regardless of the heartache and problems you’re currently experiencing, you have an opportunity to find happiness and love. Don’t settle for anything less.

Good luck.

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