Dear Kim,

I keep seeing on social media there are going to be lots of babies and lots of divorces by the time this is all over.  I have noticed some strain on my own marriage.  Do you have advice on how to maintain a healthy relationship?



Dear Kathy,

Most of us find it challenging to be around the same people 24/7 for long periods of time.  It makes perfect sense that we start to get on each other’s nerves.  Minor annoyances become exaggerated and can be blown out of proportion.  We overlooked these little quirks prior to this “stay at home” period. Now we just want them to shut the heck up! 

Seriously though, I’ve watched several experts on television talking about the ways to maintain relationships through this pandemic.  Some suggest we’re not really listening to our partners.  We need to recognize their struggles and become more empathic.  Others suggest meditation and mindfulness.  All valid points.

From my perspective, nothing helps maintain a relationship more than a little space.  Space to breathe, to think, to take a minute for yourself.  My husband and I usually share space well together.  We take long road trips.  Hours and days in the car.  We enjoy each other’s company.  But when we make that pit stop, we tend to go in separate directions.  You find out quickly that you probably enjoy your partner’s company much more than the rest of the general population.  Those few minutes away from each other allow us to breathe and appreciate what we have together.  Most of us are social creatures.  It’s that exposure to the rest of the world that lets us appreciate our partners.

My advice is to find some space.  Walk around the neighborhood.  Sit on the front porch.  Wash the car.  It might be in the bathroom of some shabby gas station.  Just take a minute to breathe.  When you return to each other’s company, you’ll be glad you have each other.

Stay well.

Have a question?  Ask Kim!